Five Minute Friday: Lonely

Gather 'round. It's time for Five Minute Friday! Lisa Jo Baker gives a one word prompt and hundreds of us write for five minutes on the topic. Then we stop. We don't jack with it any longer, just click the 'publish' and move on with our lives. This week's word is: Lonely

Well, that doesn't sound fun at all but here goes.

GO

Lonely is odd. Both numerically and otherwise.

By definition, lonely means you are either figuratively or literally by yourself.

But from my experience there is a weight that accompanies lonely.  The weight isn’t heavy enough to crush because that would end the misery which would be humane.

Lonely is anything but humane.  No, lonely brings with it a wholly unrelieved ache.  Being alone without the ache would be preferable to it’s presence.  Being able to take some Midol to relieve it would even be livable.  The ache stays though.  It’s pretty stubborn that way.

I didn’t want to go.  Getting out of bed was too much even. The fact that I had to keep going back every single day to walk past those people again was killing me.

I had been part of something.  Something big.  A group of people who were going places.  Places everyone who was anyone went.

Then one day, I wasn’t.  Unwelcome.  Separate.  Other.

To this day, I’m not entirely sure what happened. One thing was certain: the winds had changed and they were not changing back.

I was crushed.  Life was ending just as it was about to take off. 

I’ve learned something in the years between that first black season and the present.  A Truth that has steadied me through the unwanted dark periods which none of us can avoid.

Through depression.

Through infidelity.

Through divorce.

Through infertility.

I was lonely but I was never alone. 

This is what the Almighty says about my desolation:

Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

I have found myself in the middle of many wastelands so far.  And I’m not even middle-aged so I have probably not scratched the surface.  A fantastic thought.

Without fail, each time I have stood, lonely and aching, waiting for God’s way out of my wasteland, He has arrived with a solution both wildly unexpected and lovely.  The loathed situation turned sacred because of the sweetness with which the Lord met me.

If you’re standing in that nasty place, please hang on.

If you’re on the other side, and richer for it, jot down a comment to encourage the faint hearted.

STOP

Five Minute Friday