The Outdoorsy Indoors

My dear husband is under the impression that I like to "look" outdoorsy but that I don’t actually "like" the outdoors. I don’t agree. Entirely. Before we married I worked at an outdoor store. They put me in the backpack/tent section but I didn’t know much about either one. Once they asked me to build a tent in the store for a display and I remember praying really hard that I could figure it out since customers were watching. So yeah, on second thought, maybe I was a poser.

All that changed when my husband moved us to the sticks. Of China.

  • Where having water and electricity at the same time was like finding Willy Wonka’s golden ticket. Only there was no time to dance around singing about it. You had to jump out of your clothes and shower as fast as possible while the water was both on and warm.
  • Where the water temperature setting for the shower was in the kitchen which necessitated a naked run through an entirely windowed area between rooms in hopes of achieving a humane temperature. It never happened. Your choices were either freshly melted snow or hot lava.
  • Where outside our window lived a group of roosters who misunderstood their job description so they cock-a-doodle-doo-ed all the live long day. And night. They lived through it only because I was not familiar with China's foreign policy on rooster murder.
  • Where a firework factory, located outside our bedroom window, tested their product nightly.
  • Where I could see my breath in my living room even though the heater was full blast.
  • Where fire shot out of the electrical outlets.

I've camped alright. It was as close the great outdoors as indoors can get.

Even though I only theoretically like the outdoors, I recently purchased a waterproof Bible. It won't go white water rafting or ice fishing, though. Because I don't have time for that. And because that sounds miserable.

No, I got it because my life stage requires one. The children are learning how to be people and that’s a messy undertaking.

The last straw was when I recently lost a Bible to an unfortunate fruit punch incident. The entire New Testament stuck together so that I was forced to just remember all the stuff Jesus said. That wasn't working for me.

I tried cleaning it but it was just. so. sticky. Sticky sends me into a downward spiral. Sticky makes me want to sell the house and buy a new one that is not yet sticky.

When I contacted the wonderful people at Bardin and Marsee Publishing for an opportunity to review their product, they said they would be happy to give me a complimentary Bible to review but that my blog didn’t have enough followers yet.

This part is entirely your fault. Yeah. I'm looking at you.

So, because you are slacking, I had to buy one like a regular person. Ugh.

I’m so glad I did though. It is fantastic.

The kids and I wasted no time thinking of terrible things to put this Bible through. Because I bought it with my husband’s hard earned money, I was really hoping their claims were true.

Here goes nothing...

"You're SURE you want me to pour orange juice on your new Bible?!"

We made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the old testament.

Then we gave it a bath.

Then the girl got sidetracked and gave the boy a bath.

Not only did the Bible emerge unscathed, it dried quickly and was not sticky.

AND all my notes were still there.

Which is great because I come up with some pretty deep stuff.

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Anyhow. I like it SO much that I bought one for you. No, not for all of you. I'm not Oprah.

*ENTRIES ARE CLOSED*

Please leave a separate comment on this post for each entry you make. If you want three entries, you need three comments.

Entry #1 Follow my blog by entering your email in the upper right hand column of this page. Leave a comment saying you did so. If you already follow me, leave a comment saying as much so it will get counted in the final tally. All the cool kids are doing it.

Entry #2 Share this giveaway with your friends on your Facebook status and/or Twitter. Come back and tell me you did it.

Entry #3 Leave a comment sharing how this waterproof Bible will be useful in your life when you win it. I'm pretty sure you will be the winner anyway. I'm rooting for you.

Again, please make a separate comment for EACH entry made. I will number the comments and generate the winning number using www.random.org.

The giveaway will end this Friday, August 16th at midnight. I will announce the winner Monday, August 19th.

I'm excited. Get busy!

*ENTRIES ARE CLOSED*